Reader Comment
Silvyr - Can you give more elaborate examples, condensed down into one post on “Working on yourself” after a severe breakup or other life failure? There are so many flashes of brilliance in older posts in that regard - “Work out, work on your dreams"… But the same could be said for the “No Contact” phases in different situations. My favorite posts of yours aren’t necessarily the ones that are so detailed, but the ones that kick me in the ass with that form of inspiration I know only YOU can provide.
The Truth About Breakups (That No One Tells You)
Before describing some elaborate schtick to calm a broken heart, let’s take a moment to zoom out and ask:
What the f* is she thinking?**
Ever caught yourself wondering…
- “Why the f*** isn’t this affecting her as much as it is me?”
- “Why is she already talking to other guys?”
- “Is she really over me that quickly?”
Here’s the simple answer:
She’s built for this. You’re not.
As I’ve explained before in various posts, women are far more attuned to the crimson arts. Their genetic programming gives them a natural command over social dynamics.
So after a breakup, what are you supposed to do?
Act aloof? Make your ex jealous? Pretend this isn’t affecting you?
Exactly.
The thing is she doesn’t need to learn this stuff from a site like Unfiltered Man.
But you do.
Until someone like me kicks your AFC ass into acting appropriately (see: amused mastery), your first instinct will always be the same: digest your dignity and slide into a bucket of beta shit.
Why She’s Winning (And You’re Not)
She’s acting better, looking better, maybe even rebounding with some new dude.
All the right moves to make you want her back.
You?
You’re thinking of calling her.
Texting paragraphs.
Explaining your “growth.”
Begging to talk.
Because the Matrix owns your balls.
The truth?
Women are better at acting like they’re over it.
But their emotional control comes at the cost of internal mastery.
A girl in love is a girl in love.
A broken heart is still a broken heart.
With enough pressure, she’ll crack too.
What to Do Instead: 10 Brutal Steps to Rebuild
These ideas have come up in older posts, but here’s the full list consolidated for your healing (and domination) arc.
1. Work Out
Not in whatever way you want.
FIND or design a program. Follow it religiously.
2. Read
There’s something magical about reading.
Build a list by subject:
- Classics
- Philosophy
- Sci-fi
- Psychology
Aim for one book per week. In 90 days, you won’t recognize yourself.
3. Approach
Don’t focus on closing.
Your only goal: Approach.
That’s it. You “win” by just doing it.
Heartbreak should fuel aloofness, use it.
4. Eat Healthy
Stack this with working out.
Track it. Build goals. Execute.
Adopt a testosterone-fueled diet and watch your body become a weapon.
5. Drop the Fapping
You’re heartbroken.
You’ll end up crying to porn with girls that look like your ex.
Cut it. Reclaim your energy.
6. Create Something
Three options:
- Start a business
- Build a masterpiece (art, music)
- Master a skill
Younger guys: build your future resume.
Older guys: build a legacy or stack revenue.
7. Do One Crazy Thing Every Month
Skydiving. Free climbing. Deep-sea diving.
One crazy action every 30–90 days.
Keep pushing forward.
8. Write
Journal your real thoughts.
Not your ex-fantasies.
If you’re too lazy for a journal, drop comments here.
Let your mind bleed somewhere productive.
9. Change Your Environment
Your room looks like goat heave?
Fix it.
Changing your external space helps rebuild the internal one.
10. Don’t Get Addicted
No vices.
If you need a substance to cope, you’re not healing.
You’re sedating.
Final Note
This isn’t just about recovery.
It’s about transformation.
You don’t want to be the man who “got over her.”
You want to be the man she can never reach again.