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Mental Note to Self: Walk slow during winter. It looks very un-suave to slip in front of a girl. If you can’t laugh off a situation like this, consider Seppuku
“How Do I look?”
I am subconsciously shit testing
“I’m not looking for a relationship right now”
I’m not looking for you right now, and I probably never will
“I’m practically a guy”
I like to pretend to be into basketball and stuff so I seem cooler than other girls
I’m not like other girls, I hate drama
Alcoholics rarely admit they have a problem, why should I?
“I was dumb when I was young”
I’m an ex slut searching for redemption
“I want flowers”
Submit to me.
Are you seeing anyone right now?
I would like to submit an application. hehe.
“I need to know where this is going”
I would like for us to become serious
“I don’t care where this is going, I just need to know for myself.”
I don’t want to be the one who brings up us being exclusive
“I’m not easy”
I’m very easy
“Hey I’m sorry to bother you but…”
I know you have nothing better to do so…
“I’m happy being single”
I’m happy not being with you
“I’m not upset”
I’m very upset
“We need to talk”
I need to talk, you need to listen.
“I want you to open up to me”
I need to know how you feel so I know whether or not to dump you
"You’re a Jerk"
I hate that I Love you
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship”
You will never, ever, ever, see me naked.
“Someone was flirting with me”
Be Jealous. Please.
Ew…
I want you to feel bad about this, if I make it seem disgusting and unattractive, I know you’ll feel bad.
“I have to much on my plate to get into a relationship right now”
You are not attractive enough for me to give up anything in my life, not even mini-golf.
“I’ll think about it”
No.
“Maybe later”
No.
“Let’s see how things go”
No.
“I’m confused, give me some time”
No.
“Never.”
In a little while.
“I can’t do this”
But I will anyways.
“I know better than to do this”
But I’m going to do it anyways.
Welcome to UnfilteredMan
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