Mental Note to Self: Walk slow during winter. It looks very un-suave to slip in front of a girl. If you can’t laugh off a situation like this, consider Seppuku‍

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“How Do I look?”
I am subconsciously shit testing‍

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“I’m not looking for a relationship right now”
I’m not looking for you right now, and I probably never will‍

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“I’m practically a guy”
I like to pretend to be into basketball and stuff so I seem cooler than other girls‍

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I’m not like other girls, I hate drama
Alcoholics rarely admit they have a problem, why should I?‍

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“I was dumb when I was young”
I’m an ex slut searching for redemption‍

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“I want flowers”
Submit to me.‍

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Are you seeing anyone right now?
I would like to submit an application. hehe.‍

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“I need to know where this is going”
I would like for us to become serious‍

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“I don’t care where this is going, I just need to know for myself.”
I don’t want to be the one who brings up us being exclusive‍

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“I’m not easy”
I’m very easy‍

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“Hey I’m sorry to bother you but…”
I know you have nothing better to do so…‍

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“I’m happy being single”
I’m happy not being with you‍

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“I’m not upset”
I’m very upset‍

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“We need to talk”
I need to talk, you need to listen.‍

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“I want you to open up to me”
I need to know how you feel so I know whether or not to dump you‍

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"You’re a Jerk"
I hate that I Love you‍

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“I don’t want to ruin our friendship”
You will never, ever, ever, see me naked.‍

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“Someone was flirting with me”
Be Jealous. Please.‍

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Ew…
I want you to feel bad about this, if I make it seem disgusting and unattractive, I know you’ll feel bad.‍

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“I have to much on my plate to get into a relationship right now”
You are not attractive enough for me to give up anything in my life, not even mini-golf.‍

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“I’ll think about it”
No.‍

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“Maybe later”
No.‍

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“Let’s see how things go”
No.‍

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“I’m confused, give me some time”
No.‍

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“Never.”
In a little while.‍

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“I can’t do this”
But I will anyways.‍

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“I know better than to do this”
But I’m going to do it anyways.

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Welcome to UnfilteredMan

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