Top 10 Most Alpha Moments

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10) When the weights hit the floor while you’re Dead Lifting: Doesn’t count if it’s less than 200 pounds. That metal clanging noise is almost addictive, constantly encouraging you to push out one last rep just to hear the music.

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9) Coming out victorious in an athletic competition: Not long-term competitions or goals, anything from pick-up basketball games to a college football game.  Helps if you played a key role

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8) Getting a compliment from someone who looks up to you: Tells you that you’re someone others aspire to

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7) Winning a fight: Can’t get more primal than this. Maybe if you killed someone.

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6) Executing Game Successfully: Getting a girlfriend, or closing with perfect technique. Your offspring may still have hope.

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5) Standing up for someone else: Directly fulfills the primary male duty to society, protection.

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4) Major Achievement: Achieving a long-term goal. Finally getting as good as you wanted to be in a sport, getting the body you always wanted, writing a book, a goal that took a while to get to and required more than impulsive determination.

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3) Crumbling another man’s ego: Bobby fisher was once asked “what do you like the most about chess?” and while the reporters expected a model-perfect answer like, “the way the game challenges your mind,” Fischer replied “The look on my opponents face when he knows it’s over and there’s nothing he can do it about.”

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2) Cumming inside of a 10: Mind blowing. Even better than #1 in some aspects, the enjoyment is compressed within a few seconds rather than a decade.

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1) Lifetime achievement: Creating your Master Piece as a composer, winning the Super Bowl, getting a Nobel Prize, or even finally getting that post as a surgeon. Anything that lets you look back on your life and say “yah…I did something.”

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Top 10 Most Beta Moments

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10) Telling a Joke and having no one laugh at it: With enough wit you could play it off but the awkwardness tends to linger in the Netherlands of your psyche.

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9) Failing a shit test: Only men acclimated to game will understand the true pain of failing a shit test, everyone else gets a sick pleasure out of it.

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8) Having the Bench Press fall on you: I had to get rid of a gym membership once because of this.

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7) Getting Scolded: By another adult. Sometimes it catches you so off guard you don’t have enough time to respond in a suave way and you’re trapped thinking “dam I should’ve said __________ instead” for the next few hours.

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6) Losing a fight: It could be worst… You could’ve been killed.

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5) Feeling unaccomplished: I mean really feeling unaccomplished, like giving it all you got and then falling to the floor.

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4) Getting rejected in a cold approach: I was going to put this as #5 but I chose to place it here instead because if you think about it, most guys have an easier time getting over tangible failures than getting over approach anxiety.

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3) Crying: Close your eyes and imagine you were back in a womb.

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2) Begging: You have indeed given up every last shred of your masculinity. It has been permanently exiled from your mind.

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1) Getting your heart broken: Men conquer worlds, women conquer men. No one knows how fragile they are or what they are capable of till they are truly broken.

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